Friends arrived at my house around 8.30 a.m. today, to bring their kids for French class. I was rushing out the door, after working out, to take a son to work. " Come in" , I said "The kids can start French with Greg and I'll make us all tea when I get back . "
And breakfast. Turned out that not only had I not had breakfast but neither had most of the other mums. We had made sure that our kids had eaten breakfast but had neglected to feed ourselves.
I made the mums toast and Vegemite and tea at 9.30 a.m.
We were a bad example to our kids - do as I say not as I do!
The day got better. No schoolwork, even though we are all officially doing some formal work these school holidays. After French, we got to play - Singstar for us mums and for the kids, games outside, an exra friend and her family joined us for lunch, play after French class extended to lunch and to the afternoon.
I felt like a kid again, myself, blowing away my resposnsibilities.
But the responsibilities all came back to me late afternoon and early evening. Various incidents from yesterday clouded the day.
I can sense things from my past bubbling below the surface. I've worked hard to put away my past, some of the yucky things from my childhood. But I haven't done this enough. And it comes out in not so nice ways, bites me back via those close to me. I don't give enough and then, because I don't give enough, I get back, I receive, in similar fashion.
History repeats.
Clear as mud? Like my mind.
And sometimes my life.
Pope Benedict (from a recent audience): "Even
suffering is part of the truth of our life. Thus,
trying to shield the youngest from every
difficulty and experience of suffering, we risk
creating, despite our good intentions, fragile
persons of little generosity: The capacity to
love, in fact, corresponds to the
capacity to suffer, and to suffer together."
suffering is part of the truth of our life. Thus,
trying to shield the youngest from every
difficulty and experience of suffering, we risk
creating, despite our good intentions, fragile
persons of little generosity: The capacity to
love, in fact, corresponds to the
capacity to suffer, and to suffer together."
7 comments:
Praying for peace for you.
Pam
If you need an IRL chat, you know where I am!
I'm cool - I'm working through things, ykwim! :-)
Yep!
Pam
I knew you would!! :-)
I love the quote from Pope Benedict. I might copy that into my notebook.
With moving, I understand how the past can creep back in...
I'm working on forgiveness - true forgiveness of my Dad. I thought I had done this but I'm really letting the feelings go - not just doing the intellectual part.
What is vegemite, btw? I remember hearing of it from Men At Work...
IKWYM re the letting go...Vegemite is a savouy spread, salty, a yeast extract. I love it!
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