On pushing

There are times when we, and our children, need a little nudge. A push. A " I know you can do this" or a " Give it a try."

 There are times when it's better to wait for that nudge to come from within. If you police my weight loss efforts I am likely to get mad or to sabotage. If I wait for that click, it works. I want to. I make myself.

 I have seen the same click with reading and with times tables. No matter how a teacher may push, a child seems to get these when inner click goes, well, click!

 There are also fallow times. Times when we need to ostensibly do nothing or when we need to saturate ourselves in an activity....be it a book or every Godfather movie in a row a video game, for example.

 What do we homeschoolers do then? Go with it. Go with the passion, the craze, the visible doing nothing. Because it is really impossible to do nothing and learn nothing.

Sometimes if we push we miss out on a learning experience, one that can't be replaced, one that is owned by the child. Or ourselves. One that is requiring reflection.

 So do we push our children and ourselves? Sometimes. And sometimes we hold back and just be. And sometimes we wait for that inner click.

 Tiger Mother and Unschooling Mama.

If I could tell a new homeschool mum one thing...

If I could tell a new homeschool mum one thing, it would be... to give it ( whatever it is) Time.

Time. The biggest secret in homeschooling/unschooling.

Time for a child to mature, so that the boy who hates writing at age six
("why do I have to do this") is just given time to mature, no pressure to write, just sharing books together until one day he finds his voice and writes and blogs.

Time for the shared experiences to be shared, to shape the child, to allow him to explore, think, play, be a child...so that he chooses, as a teen, to study ancient languages at a university winter school and needs no nagging about homework. He has had time to find out what he likes and how he learns.

Time to spend with family and friends, exploring persona (today it's Batman, tomorrow it is a Roman soldier), learning how to interact with others, to control temper, to think of others, to learn about self.

Time to read and read together without school schedules and have-tos.

Time for that stubborn toddler to grow into a self disciplined, determined young man. Time for that  very sensitive child to grow into a young man who thinks deeply and spiritually.

Time to cook, to do crafts, to play games, to climb trees, to visit and re-visit museums and libraries, to learn.

And time for mum to realise that things that seem major and  crisis making and overwhelming now will pass.

Time has been my homeschooling secret. Regardless of circumstances and living situations, I have learned to give myself and my kids time.

When they strew to us...

I'm sitting here, working on an assignment with one eye, watching an episode of  Downton Abbey with another and listening to Anthony, my youngest son. Anthony is regaling me with stories of Saki, a writer, and of his research on Wikipedia of what-happens-next in Downton Abbey. He well knows that I like to be aware of endings before I watch movies or series or before I continue reading my book. 


Alexander sends me a link to an article on why the study of Latin is important.

Greg emails me pictures of Frank Lloyd Wright's house.


Nick shares his pizza dough recipe.


And I remember the picture book "Clive eats Alligators". Just as the author ( Alison Lester) hooks us with stories of who will do what, so my sons hook me into new interests, passing or otherwise, with their strewing.


Yes, strewing.


For just as we strew to our children so they, too, strew to us.


When they were little it was a passion for Lego, for war games, for cars and motorbikes, for Biggles.


And now it is a passion for literature, for music, for movies, for life.


We strew their paths with interesting items. 


And they strew our lives with interest and love. 

Strewing their paths...late February

To strew. To lay interesting thing in the paths of our children, our families, our unschooling sons and daughters. Well, sons in my case. Or son. The lone unschooler.

Sandra Dodd coined this term "strewing" within an unschooling context.

And it works. It sparks an interest, it allows for exposure, it provides another knot to that mental hammock of information. 

Even when a parent is in absentia. As I have been in February, due to work commitments.

You know Arnie Schwarznegger in the movie Jingle All the Way, that almost always absent dad? That's been me. But at least everyone knows its only temporary (roll on March!).

And I have been strewing.  So sparks are sown without me.

Making a salt dough crown of thorns with some sons. And me varnishing it late at night and decorating the table for Lent so that is the first thing everyone sees as they come downstairs in the morning. When I am already at work. 

Asking Anthony to find an icon of Sts Cyril and Methodius while I hang streamers for St Valentine. While a very late, very easy dinner is cooking. 

Taking a Saturday afternoon to clean the garage and find interesting new-to-some books to share....Dorothy Sayers' Creed or Chaos?, Kim Philby's account of the Philby spy scandal that rocked Britain and that on which the film and book Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is based, Joyce Vedrals' book The 12 Minute Workout for those sons bemoaning their lack of workout time once Uni starts, Party Shoes by Noel Streatfield ( for me! But lead to discussion and a maybe we should watch Ballet Shoes again?), an Italian Reader for Thomas who is saving to go to Rome for a Latin school in July....

Other strewing? Reading about St Wahlburga after mass and Anthony looking up Saxon inspired desserts for Sunday.

A trip to Kikki K....just walking in the door makes one feel more organized already!

Setting up games days and times to hang with friends  and lifts to and from drama and New Testament Greek class and buses to youth group for Anthony, the lone but not alone unschooler.

Making lists.....can someone make pancakes for Shrove Tuesday (Shrove Monday in this house this year!), can someone find a Gregorian chant CD, can someone vacuum or hang out laundry or post this letter and the myriad of other chores that make up Life Skills and Personal Development.

On the rare but treasured hang out with family nights...watching some of the Numbers series and discussing religion and faith and Maths and family and crime, watching Music and Lyrics and loving the dialogue, a mini  Harry Potter marathon... Deathly Hallows Part One and Two and reminiscing about the books and characters and choices.

And my kids helping me with so much Kumon work and my thank you to my kids and to my other assistants...our nearly end of Kumon dinner at a local Chinese restaurant.

This is what unschooling looks like.

This is what unschooling strewing looks like.

It looks a lot like life, doesn't it?

But life strewed with and lived with purpose and intent. 

An observer  may see no visible signs of learning (You wrote down a sneeze as Health! That tongue in cheek comment!). And yet  the observer can know that there is learning and intent. Time is structured, by interest and by strewing, not necessarily by school. And education happens. With the spark or interest in learning retained.

That's unschooling. That's unschooling strewing. 

Strewsday Thursday

It's Strewsday Tuesday!

Well, officially it's Strewsday Thursday but that doesn't fit now, does it?

What have we strewed this week..for learning...in our unschooling life?

Museums. Again.

We seem to have a penchant for museums, wandering around, looking at those displays and objects that catch our eyes.

On Friday, it was the National Museum in Sydney. We mostly explored dinosaurs and native Australia.

And the National Geographic Wildlife photo competition. 

On Tuesday we explored the Melbourne Museum. In which I was enamoured of the Melbourne Gallery....Photos and artifacts and memorabilia from old Melbourne.

I sat in a 1960s sitting room and watched old TV shows....Homicide, IMT.

I fell in love with kitchen appliances from the 50s and 60s...A cute pink Mixmaster. A cunning Spacemaster refrigerator.

Then today we visited ACMI again...a Melbourne perennial, Australian Centre for Moving Images. And again I was immersed in digital technology. Indi gaming and early Aussie cop dramas. 

Museums are like microcosms of the unschooling life. Bits of information presented here and there, glimpses of possible future interest or passions or rabbit trails, discussion starters, learning via absorption. 

Easy, interesting, family time strewing. 

The word for the year...

On Facebook, my friend Julie, of Bravewriter, has taken up that idea of a word (theme, motto) for the year.

We choose our word for the year, we keep it close, it's a prompt, a reminder, something or someone to which we aspire.

But Julie has taken that idea one step further.

She has decided to, perhaps, post daily updates on her word and this her life. Daily updates on Facebook.

Julie's word is conscientious.

Mine is calm.

In the spirit of calm what did I do today?

Prayed at Mass, a reverent Mass, Benediction, Latin, a homily reminding us that yes, sin exists and yes, choices matter.

Mass and praying the Divine Office helped my inner calm.

As did being on holiday. Hanging out with family and a friend. And keeping my To Do list to a minimum.

Yes, I keep a To Do list on holiday.

I don't know how not to!

Praying the Divine Office

"I did not even reflect how the Breviary, the Canonical Office, was the most powerful and effective prayer I could have possibly chosen , since it is the prayer of the whole Church, and concentrates in itself all the power of the Church's impetration, centered around the infinitely  mighty Sacrifice of the Mass - the jewel of which the rest of the Liturgy is the setting: the soul which is the life of the whole Liturgy and of all the Sacramentals. ....

Yes, and from the secret places of His essence, God began to fill my soul with grace in those days, grace that sprung from deep within me, I could not know how or where. But yet I would be able, after not so many months, to realize what was there, in the peace and the strength that were growing in me through my constant immersion in this tremendous, unending cycle of prayer, ever renewing its vitality, it's inexhaustible, sweet energies, from hour to hour, from season to season in its returning round. And I, drawn into that Atmosphere, into that deep, vast universal movement of vitalizing prayer, which is Christ praying in men to His Father, could not help but being at last to live, and to know that I was alive."

I want to write like Thomas Merton.. Taken from his Seven Storey Mountain, this so vey eloquently describes my experience of praying the Divine Office  these last eighteen months or so.

The seasons change, I move from chilly icy winter mornings before work to warm and  snug summer evenings, from a snatched prayer in my bedroom to quiet prayer in a church, to praying the Office relaxing on the green  sofa. 

And the time passes I feel the daily prayers, joining with the mind of the Church, the prayer if the Church, praying with others praying the Office throughout the world. I feel it. I mentally comprehend it. My soul stirs.  My heart softens . And I let down those little barriers. The ones I build to protect myself, to stop being vulnerable to hurt. As if those barriers are always a good thing. 

These fences come down. Bit by bit, as I pray the Office, the Psalms, as I ponder the Readings.

Of course, my daily life happens. And the little walls start building again, to protect myself and to protect others. 

But I come back each morning, each night, to the Divine Office. And the scales, the walls, the fences, the barriers, are removed once again.

And that's why a mother should pray the Office. Even if prayed imperfectly. 

For the chance to know and adore God and to know and love others and to know  herself. 

For His Grace in her every day, never stopping life. 

But how will they live in the real world?

Wednesday in the last week of Advent.

Faith on our Unschooling Catholics list, asks...what are you strewing?

Strewing orthodontist appointments, lists of things I need help with around the house because of my work commitments, and stress.

Got to stop strewing stress.

And smile.

This is what  I like about unschooling, though.

It's real life. Stress and all. And we strew learning, real life learning, learning in the affective realm, even when we are not intentionally strewing. 

You know that question we all get. "But how will your kids be prepared for the real world?"

This is the real world, dear. They live in my life,  and I live in theirs, and the kids see into almost every nook and cranny of my life. 

And my life is very Real World. 

Sleeping for a week!

"I'm not so far gone that I can't grasp there has to be more to life than forging pastries at midnight. And tiredness. Deep-sea diver tiredness, voyage to the bottom of fatigue tiredness.." ..from "I Don't Know How She Does It" by Allison Pearson.

I think mothers all know this type of tiredness.

And homeschooling mothers perhaps more so.

And working mothers.

And homeschooling working mothers...

What keeps us going?

Vision.

And prayer.

And a prayerful vision of our role and meaning in life.

To know, love and serve God. In our vocations as women...

"The intrinsic value of woman consists essentially in exceptional receptivity for God's work in the soul, and this value comes to unalloyed development if we abandon ourselves confidently and unresistingly to this work." .. From Woman by St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein)

I attended a retreat for women today.

And the result? I felt like I had slept for a week. Refreshed.

Me. She who lives in an almost constant state of tiredness.

The Sisters of Life spoke of living the freedom of the feminine heart.

In the words of Sister Mariae Agnus Dei... Receptivity, sensitivity, generosity.

Freedom for and not freedom from.

"If you are what you should be, then you will set the world on fire." St Catherine of Sienna.

Not striving to meet someone else's standards , not forging pies at midnight, not forging anything, really, but living true to our vocation and our dignity.

This is what keeps us going. We give and we receive. We receive and we give.

We love because we are loved.

And we mother as we were mothered, as we wish we were mothered, as Our Lady mothers us.

"Everywhere the need exists for maternal sympathy and help, and thus we are able to recapitulate in the one word motherliness that which we have developed as the characteristic value of woman. Only, the motherliness must be that which does not remain within the narrow circle of blood relations or of personal friends; but in accordance with the model of the Mother of Mercy, it must have its root in universal divine love for all who are there, belabored and burdened."... Woman by St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

The Twenty-four Days Before Christmas

"Everybody in the Austin family is excited on the first day of December because every day for twenty-four days they will do something special to prepare for the twenty-fifth day, Christmas Day, the most joyful day in the whole year."

And so begins The Twenty-four Days Before Christmas by Madeleine L'engle.

I read an old copy of this book as child ( it was published in 1964) and the memories of Mother and her Advent preparations, her Advent activities, stayed with me.

When I became a mother myself, I had a vision for Advent already in mind. Preparing as a family for Christmas. Making and pulling out an Advent calendar. Making cookies. Assembling a crèche or nativity scene. Crafts. Cooking. Carols. Books. Music.

And prayers and masses and movies,  in a modern Catholic family twist.

There is a danger, however, that Advent can become yet another time of busy-ness. Of being task oriented. Of endless to do lists.

"Advent, John could tell you, is the name for the four weeks of preparation and thought that lead up to Christmas day."

Preparation and thought. Not necessarily frantic activity and compulsion to do everything that Mrs Austin, Mother in the book, does.

"The kitchen is a big wandery room that turns corners and as kinds of unexpected nooks and crannies. In the dining room end a fire is crackling merrily, and the smell of applewood mingles with the smell of pancakes and maple syrup, and hot chocolate with marshmallows."

In our current house, our kitchen opens onto our dining area, it is light and symmetrical. The teens woke this morning to freshly made pikelets, tea in my variety of cute and fanciful teapots and our basket of Advent books. We lit the first candle in the Advent wreath.

So, yes, I do the Mrs Austin-ish Advent things. Well, some of them. Well, my own version.

But ultimately I know that Advent preparation and thought and prayer should be interior as well as exterior...Holy Mass, the Novena for the Immaculate Conception, the sacrament of penance, the rosary.

Being faithful.

Even if we don't do all the Advent activities, the crafts, the cooking, the books...

We prepare and think and pray.

We find that star, the Light of Christ, in our faithfulness . In His Love.

"One star is brighter and more sparkling than any of the others. 'The Christmas star,' Vicky whispers. Its light seems to shine right down into her heart."

What do unschoolers do?

We have lived in very small houses and still live in suburbia.

What do we do with our days? What did we do when all the sons were young?

Well.... We have always done a lot of park visits, library visits, putting posters in libraries and notes in homeschool newsletters for other homeschoolers to meet us at these visits.

We have done and still do regular ice skating arena sessions with other homeschoolers and lunch at the park or even Macdonalds together ( free rein on the equipment!).

Cleaning up every few hours hasn't been a bad thing for us. We have just put some things aside or in a box to resume after meals ...we still do! Even I have a work basket....or we have used the clean up as a time to change an activity or change direction eg craft in the morning and park visit or DVD or computer in the afternoon.

And asking some friends to join us for the craft or DVD or computer games... Mums chat, littlies make a mess with Lego and toys and biggies enjoy the computer game camaraderie. 

I like to question routines... Life doesn't have to be a certain way, we can change things up to suit us.

For example, meals don't have to be eaten at the table.. We often had picnic meals on the patio or on a blanket on the floor and we could sit together or read a story there.

Or take it to the park.

Or spread the tablecloths on the floor and watch a movie together while eating.

We can have breakfast for dinner .

We can start our day with art as we did one season .

Or start our day with a walk around our suburbs or a walk to the shops or to the park, as we did many times.

We can go to the library and get an armload of books and play at the park on the way and visit new shops and come home and chill out with books and listen to music CDs.

We can go to the video store and come back with a pile of DVDs and games.

We have joined toy libraries and brought home new toys and games.

We have gone to op shops (charity shops and secondhand shops) and brought home interesting cheap stuff to look at and play with and take apart. And cleaned it up in the next peg of cleaning.. Or said hang it, leave the mess and get some pizza for dinner! 

We have rearranged furniture and made rooms look different. I love this. It gives a different feel to a room and especially to a small house!

We have done museums and art galleries very often, again always followed by a play in the park and with or without others .

A beach trip and walk even in winter.

A nature walk in our suburbs and collect finds or take a million photos .

Set up a container garden.. We currently have a mini lemon tree and a mini mandarin tree in pots that we planted two years ago in those same pots in our last house. These bore fruit this year!

We have always done and still do a lot of cooking ( and you get to eat the results!).

Cooking and playing with playdough.

Small pets like fish and birds and a cat.

Visit a pet shop .

Get out dress ups.

Buy foam balls for in house volleyball.. Over the sofa! My kids favourite.

One of those indoor small boouncy trampolines were popular here and the boys still love run inside and outside games with nerf guns.

Or take water pistols to the park. 

They also liked turning the kitchen table or the sofas into cubbies with blankets and pillows and playing there for hours... Eating there too so no cleanup till getting ready for dinner .

Or if we were doing schoolwork do it in mum and dad'snbedroom.. Leaning against or on the bed together, littlies in and out with toys, lie on the bed together and read. Just last week I and four sons sat and lay on the double bed or balanced on the foot and hung out and chatted. 

Go on a bike ride and skateboard ride around the neighborhood.

Go on park crawls and skateboard park crawls.

Visit new shopping centres and new libraries.

Stop to look at landmarks or signs.

Visit historical houses.

Organize these sorts of outings with other homeschoolers. 

Visit other parishes and churches. Pop in for a visit and prayer. Read the history.

These are just a few of the things we did and do, living your average unschooling suburban life.

It's a beautiful life...

Unschooling joy?

Unschooling joy?

Can we unschool and experience joy or contentment, regardless of  our circumstances?

"I speak not as it were for want. For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, to be content therewith." Phillipians 4:11

I decided that part of Unschooling for me would be looking for joy at this moment.

In other words, in spite of stressful things in my life, well... as much as possible, I would treat my mothering as the job or vocation that it is.

You know, when you get dressed and go to work outside the home, regardless of what is happening at home, you put on That Bright Face and smile and are cheerful and work hard...Well, that is what I try to remember at home. It's not my kids' fault things may be problematic so regardless I try to set the tone... Smile, do something nice even if I don't feel like it, be willing to give ourselves a break and have fun, say yes more. Go out even just to the park or to a friends house!

Amazingly, when I do this, especially the saying yes more and being with my kids instead of directing them towards schoolwork, then I feel happier and less stressed. Of course, I have moments when I lose it or when I am utterly exhausted and just curl up on the sofa.. But when I look for joy in the little things, when I say yes more, when I hang out with the kids and with my friends, when I put on a smile and some mascara (!), when I make a chocolate church with the kids even though I am tired ( as we did for the dedication of the Lateran Basilica)... Then I just feel happier and love my life in spite of any problems.

I have learned contentment.

I have to say that my prayer life has been of paramount importance. I pray the morning and evening prayers of the Divine Office and I try to get to daily mass and weekly confession. That gives me peace.

"To converse with You, O King of glory, no third person is needed, You are always ready in the Sacrament of the Altar to give audience to all. All who desire You always find You there, and converse with You face to face." St Teresa of Avila

And I do a workout every day, no matter how short, as those endorphins give me a high!!

We have structure in our day and week, too, just not school structure . Most often structure scheduled around homeschool activities and my work. We do better here with less clutter and more rhythm but that rhythm might be tidy ups pegged to meals and a DVD with dinner most nights for example. Or it could be lie down on the sofa with some Maths and Latin.

These routines pave the way for contentment.

Ultimately, however, contentment and joy are like love...a choice, made in and with His grace.

"The only way to make it in this homeschooling life is to reach for God instead of reaching for happiness. Trying harder to be happy or content will not make you happy and content; trying harder to rest in God and depend upon His grace will. It is a spiritual issue, not a practical one. Contentedness will not come from being more organized, sleeping longer, being a better wife, having a better home, using better materials, having more time to yourself, or whatever you think might help. Contentedness is learned in the process of daily accepting life as God gives it to you, and adjusting your expectations to life’s limitations." Sally Clarkson, Season of A Mother's Heart

I wish unschooling for everyone..

We recently had a discussion on our Unschooling Catholics email list...on that ubiquitious statement, oh so familiar to all homeschoolers with an unschooling bent...Unschooling sounds great but *I* could never do it.

Maybe the speaker couldn't. Or shouldn't.

Or maybe they should and could...if they are willing to step out of their box.

I'm on my seventh teenage unschooler here.. And my thought and experience is that unschooling works with relationship and time.

Time because a child who does not pick up a book at age eight can become a a teen studying liberal arts at university and reading and enjoying philosophy and theology... And yes, I am describing one of my sons! I would strew books that he would never pick up unless they were non fiction full-of-pictures DK and Usborne books. However, we kept reading aloud and listening to books on CD and watching movie versions of books and letting him follow his interests... Which when he was young was all about the outdoors and activity. So I think Unschooling works best over time. 

Time because it takes awhile for "no strings attached" strewing to take... By no strings I mean that I really don't mind if no one takes up my strewing but instead strews their own stuff. And with expectations off, my sons have been more likely to explore new ideas and activities and books.

Relationship because that has been the way Unschooling works in our house. It has enhanced our relationships because we spent time together not doing school but reading aloud, watching movies, drawing, cooking, going to parks and outings and talking. It's this quantity time that is sometimes missing when mums and kids are rushing to do school and then to homeschool activities. And yet this quantity time has been the biggest aid to our learning... so one son, who used to make a big fuss about any sort of formal work when young is the one who is now  at university, writing essays and talking to me about chastity and celibacy and how he doesn't think celibacy would be so hard as your mind, his mind, is on other things.. At the moment Cicero. (!) Now, he was the one who you could have said would not be a poster child for Unschooling, would spend oodles of time on computer games and make a big fuss about chores and really did spend a year or two around age sixteen or so just playing games and hanging out ( and doing chores and serving at mass and helping in the parish). 

Or let me give an example of another son ( did I mention I have seven sons...thus many examples!) who was also a non writer and often a non reader. But who grew, however,  into reading Shakespeare as a teen, who has a degree and now works  in politics, works hard, long hours and yet still finds time to go to mass or confession on weekdays as well. 

Are they perfect? No.

Were they the perfect poster unschooler kids? No.

Were we the perfect unschooler poster family? No, not with our problems, financial problems, moving many many times, mum's health problems and miscarriages, unemployment, extended family crises, months where we did nothing but chores and watch movies and read and cook and eat. And I went through stages of let's try this (  CM or classical or curriculum) but we always came  back to just living and learning.

Where am I going with this?

That I would wish Unschooling for everyone.

That blossoming of self and interests and relationships.

Unschooling tweaked to suit each family but Unschooling where the child and family are more important than is he reading, is he doing maths, can he meet these outcomes? Ad infinitum.

 In my experience, the unschooled children can meet outcomes, over time, with a good relationship ( "darling , for uni you will need more maths and writing so how about we try x and y... "...Easily suggested and more likely to be taken up when relationship in place) and with tweaking to suit each child and family. 

Unschooling has brought me to my knees, to my Faith, to the sacraments , many many times... Heck, I became a Catholic! Me! It's that trust in Our Lord, in the Holy Spirit's workings in my life and in the life of my kids, in the graces of the sacraments. 

So my answer to is Unschooling for everyone is.. It's up to the parent!

Are you prepared to read more, pray more, live with your kids, daily give more of yourself, move out of your comfort zone, educate yourself, give it a good long try, no strings attached!?

For Unschooling requires effort as the vocation of mothering requires effort .. Effort and prayer... It's just that the effort is spent in time with the child and family and not with curriculum and programmes. 

And the rewards are manifold.

A Quick Succession of Busy Nothings

“Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.” ~Jane Austen


That's the danger, folks. That we who like-to-do-a-lot can  just  do-too-much and miss out on all the important things..family, prayer..sleep.

Which is one reason I unschool. We don't need another set list of To Dos in our life. We need to connect more, to form relationships with each other, with books, with ideas, with nature, with the world. with self, with God. 

"Education is the Science of Relations'; that is, a child has natural relations with a vast number of things and thoughts: so we train him upon physical exercises, nature lore, handicrafts, science and art, and upon many living books, for we know that our business is not to teach him all about anything, but to help him to make valid as many as may be of––
"Those first-born affinities
That fit our new existence to existing things." Charlotte Mason


So how do we do this? We have  daily, work-at-home rhythms and I am pondering being less busy....


"But how can you stop being busy? It’s a simple change of mindset: you say, I’m not going to be busy anymore. Even if you have little control over your schedule, you can decide that you’ll slow down, and pick the important things to work on, and if necessary, talk to your boss about doing this. If you control your schedule, you can drop all the busywork, and just pick the high-impact tasks. It might seem impossible, but once you decide to put an End to Busy, you have taken the biggest step."


What is our weekly, work at home, unschooling rhythm? Flip over to the Unschooling Catholics blog and read my post there..


"And that is how the weeks go...way too fast...but we work on flow...on doing...and on being...Like the blue willow tea set...cups in a row, beauty, but not perfect...little imperfections...like those little imperfections in our days, our order, our rhythms ...that make the unschooling week"

My Invisible Unschooling

Someone teased me recently about my unschooling. That if Anthony sneezes I would write that in my Homeschool log as Health.

I laughed. It may be a tiny bit true.

Yet my sons, yet Anthony, is educated and has a well rounded education, a liberal arts education, not in spite of having me as a mother and not in spite of all the things I don't do, but because of all that I do.

All those invisible things I do, things that seem effortless and seamless but are done, every day, day in, day out, with a direct philosophy in mind.

A philosophy of unschooling, of children being natural leathers, of emphasizing the tools of learning, of creating a rich learning environment at home and elsewhere, of modelling, of discussion, of strewing, of Love.

The author also introduces the concept of unschooling not as an ideology — some fixed system against which to measure reality — but rather as a habit of observing children carefully and being willing to adapt our approach in light of our observations. In Suzie’s words, “Unschooling makes much more sense when we think of it as a suggestion rather than a mandate. Be with the children. Really look at them. Enjoy spending time together, talking, investigating, reading, playing.”

At the end of Chapter 2, we find a summary of the principles of unschooling. “Let the child learn by his own initiative, in his own way. The basics are not hard, children want to learn them, and they will ask for help when they need it. Learning is easiest and most effective when it is spontaneous and entered into by desire. Our home life will include necessary tasks, obligations, and duties, but learning does not have to be one of them.”

From a review of the book A Little Way of Homeschooling...you know, that book on Catholic unschooling, the one to which I am a contributor..and a perfect description of what seems to be invisible unschooling.

I'm a list maker.

I can't help myself.

Have a problem? Make a list of steps to take to fix up the problem...or at least making it more livable.

Many things to do? Write out that To Do list.

Money problems? Relationship hassles? Diet thoughts? List those solutions.....

Talking about want tos and want to dos with the kids? Grab that paper and pen, that IPad, and list.

Good books? Movies we want to watch? Places we want to visit? List, list, list.

Years ago, I even wrote a list of How To Unschool....People First headed the list. Most necessary as I can be task oriented.

As in this article..How To Be A Good Unschooler...

I think this is is the why behind my list making. I want to be Good. Hermione good.

Sittin' in the sun, unschooling

As I sit in the sun on the front verandah, with youngest son Anthony, drinking tea, having a late lunch, discussing punk rock, Fr Laux's Catholic Apologetics. (I'm really liking this book, says Anthony) and Thoreau, my paperwork by my side, The Help waiting on kindle, an interlude before I go to work, I think.... I am so glad that we have unschooled.

It's that memory snapshot.

Vocation

"When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die." Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "The Cost of Discipleship."

There are different kinds of dying.

This is, however, the essence of discipleship. And often the essence of our vocations.

It's not always easy to live out our vocations , be they to marriage, parenthood, religious life, priesthood...

But we do it. We live, we follow Christ, and sometimes we die a little bit inside.

Yet we are never alone. We have His graces.

We follow Him, we die and out of what feels like the ashes of our vocation, is borne a strength, a faith.

This is the cost of discipleship.

And the joy.

A mother's heart

A mother teaches. A mother guides. A mother laughs. A mother shares. A mother loves. A mother spends time.

A mother cares . Keeps her children close. And a mother lets go.

When I became a Catholic, I struggled to understand devotion to Our Lady, and to the Rosary.

But time spent praying the rosary, trying to understand the rosary and meditation, pondering each mystery , brought me towards Our Mother. I began to understand motherhood in the light of Our Lady. And her life.

Mary spent her life in motherhood. Motherhood as a vocation. Motherhood as a life.

And her motherhood is universal. She mothers us all.

The more years I mother, mother children and young adults of varying stages, caring for my children and for others, the more I understand that love means letting go. Sometimes even loving from a distance.

I was often, am often, like little Lovejoy in Rumer Godden's " An Episode of Sparrows".....

"'Hail Mary,' prayed Lovejoy between her teeth, 'Mary, make me cocky and independent.'"

Hail Mary, I sometimes pray silently, make me tough, make me strong.

And Mary takes my prayers, just as she took Lovejoy's prayers and she prays to her Son. And just like Lovejoy becomes vulnerable and has to accept care and love, though fiercely independent, so I become vulnerable and less knowing, in love.

I love and let go. I am both strong and weak, tough and soft.

With Mary as my role model, as my guide, my help, my intercessor.

Life with the......

A day in the life of... An answer to those who asked how Unschooling looks for families with teens.

5.44 am Mobile phone alarm beeps. I jump out of bed  to grab the phone and switch off the alarm because  I can't bear the noise and don't want it to wake the family. Then, because it's cold and wet, and because I went to bed at midnight doing work for Kumon, I take my phone back to bed with me for ten minutes. I say a few Hail Marys.

6.05 am Doing a Taebo workout in my room. Time for a half hour workout today... Total Body Blast, kickboxing and light weights. Go Billy Blanks!

6.40 am Getting dressed for work at OOSH. I lay my uniform and jeans and Converse  out the night
before so I don't have to think in the morning. Because I took those ten minutes in bed there is no time now to wash and dry my hair so I put it in pigtails.

6.50 am Leave  for work... Running a bit late.

7.00-9.30 am Work as a co-ordinator at an out of school hours care centre. Set up dominoes and tristar games and pet portraits, chat to children and parents and staff, do paperwork, plan afternoon activities.

While at home, builders arrive to fix the termite damage in our rental home. Jonathon and Alexander in Madrid for WYD (lucky things!) and Greg is home for a week before going to the US for postulancy and novitiate. So Greg, Anthony, Thomas get up, workout, tidy, talk, pray, breakfast, computer, errands

9.40 am Home from work, talk to a Kumon parent on the phone, say hi to builders and sons, check email on my phone. Anthony makes a pot of tea and we try to find a quiet builder free area to talk. Can Anthony's friend come over? Will Greg proofread Anny's report on Sir Robert Menzies? We all talk, look up movies online, go on Facebook, Thomas writes a blogpost.Anthony puts on a load of laundry and we laugh at how much less washing we have with two away.

About that report. A couple of weeks back it came to me that we were inadvertently studying Australian history this year ( see my post on Inadvertent Homeschooling). With trips and outings and books that came our way. So I suggested to Anthony that he write a report on a famous person in Australian history.. And this he finished yesterday.

About that blog post. A long discussion in Melbourne , about writing and commitment and self discipline and a friend's blog, encouraged
Thomas'  blog, Life as a student.

10.10 I go to finally wash that hair, reading a bit of Merton's Seven Storey Mountain  ( that modern spiritual classic) and the beginning of Run Your Butt Off (an introduction to running as a workout and sport) on the way. Anthony and Greg play a video game with Anthony's friend , David. Then David and Anthony play some piano.

10,55 Say goodbye to the builders... They should be finished this weekend and painters in next week! Yay! Kids drop me off to my eye specialist appointment and they head off to the shopping mall. In the waiting room I start to blog, watch the news, read parts of the aforementioned books. This is my rest! Or at least how I look at it... Not boring waiting time!

I look at my To Do list... Is there anything I can do while in the waiting room? I pray the prayer on the holy card I use as a bookmark.

I download some songs on ITunes and field another call from a Kumon parent. While the boys visit the shops and library.

Does it seem like I am filling in time??

I pray for the pilgrims in Madrid.. That plenary indulgence you know!

1.20  pm Finally texting Greg to pick me up... Waited two hours for a six minute consult!

1.49 At the food court for lunch. Lentil beetroot fetta salad! Anthony and his friend play with Bucky Balls, beads with which they make creations. Greg goes to the orthodontist and Thomas to work as an assistant at a nearby Kumon centre. I talk, text, catch up on email. With a skim chai latte!

2.53 pm Rushing to work, late again. Anthony with his friend David at home, playing games and music and reading. Greg will take Anthony to piano lessons at 5pm while I plan indoor activities for the kids at OOSH on this rainy, windy day.

6.05 Walking in the rain, waiting for my lift home from work. Then we leave a car for Thomas at his work, so he can drive to youth group in our parish after work. Home to say hi to dh, home early from work interstate in Canberra. Anthony tells me about music lessons. Builders have finished and gone! I dry my hair and we go to mass in our parish and Anthony then to meet Thomas at youth group.

We talk about St Louis of Anjou, the first Franciscan bishop. And hear from our pilgrims in Spain... It's amazing!

I get to pray the Morning and Evening prayers of the Office before and after mass ( yay! But hangs head in shame re catch up). Then home to pick up dh ... Just we three, Gerry, Greg and I for dinner, some time to chat before Greg goes away.

Where shall we eat?

8.44 At a local Thai restaurant. Thomas and Anny still at youth group. Hearing all about WYD from pilgrims and about studies in the US from Greg.

9.48 Meet T and A at McDonalds for coffee and chat about youth group. Still cold. Pouring rain.

Discuss tomorrow's plans.

Discuss items in the newspaper.

And talk about writing. And blogs. And personal culpability. And mental health problems.

10.48 pm Home . Very , very cold. Anthony does more laundry. I tidy up. We pray and get ready for bed. I make a To Do list for tomorrow, adding the many things I didn't do today.

An early night.. We were going to watch an episode of Numbers (Maths and crime!) but we are oh so tired  after a busy week... So bed and reading for us all ( and blogging for me!)