Monday, August 18, 2008

On working ~ on oneself

Working on oneself. Just plain working on things, working things out.

Working things out physically- weight and health and fitness. Re-reading The Lazy Girl's Guide to Losing Weight and Getting Fit . I am basically lazy but I continually work on myself and on my tendency to be lazy.

Ajay Rochester writes about the secret to losing weight - the secret?

The secret is I had to relearn the way I lived, moved, ate, thought and felt about myself. Once I did that the weight loss was easy.

If you do the work on the inside, the outside will follow.

It is the inside work that counts.

I find this when working on myself as a mother. I work on who I am and this affects my moments with my children. In a positive way.

My current mantra for my interactions with my family is - Love. Joy. Positive. Acceptance.

Makes me stop before nagging about the messy family room ( hopefully!). Or before automatically barking out a list of things to do, instead of working on the list together, collaberatively.

Remind yourself that each moment we're creating memories. Think of those moments as photos in a photo album. We have no control over which pictures they'll keep. Ask yourself, "Is this a moment I want my children to carry with them forever? Is this how I want them to remember me?" Joyfully Rejoycing

Stop thinking about changing "for good and not just for days or moments." That is just another thing to overwhelm you and you don't need that!
Just change the next interaction you have with the kids.
Stop reading email right now and do something "preventative" - something that helps build your relationship with them. Fix them a little tray of cheese and crackers and take it to them, wherever they are, unasked. Sit down on the floor and play with them..... Okay - so that is one good, positive interaction.
Pam Sorooshian

Working on oneself - now, in the next moment. And if I mess up, as I do, just get up and back to work. Positively.

This also applies to my interior life. Fr. talked about perseverance in prayer, in his homilies over the weekend. Persevering in prayer, in faith, in good works, co-operating with the graces of the sacraments. Working on oneself spiritually.

"Every soul should know that even though God does not answer its prayer immediately, he will not on that account fail to answer it at the opportune time if it does not become discouraged and give up its prayer."~ St. John of the Cross, The Spiritual Canticle

"Provided that we don't give up, the Lord will guide everything for our benefit, even though we may not find someone to teach us. There is no other remedy for this evil of giving up prayer than to begin again; otherwise the soul will gradually lose more each day--and please God that it will understand this fact" ~ St. Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle

I go through luscious, rich, joyful seasons of being really good with family prayer - with consistency. And through boring and dry, dusty droughts, when I just don't get around to reminding everyone to come for prayers or I get distracted and read something or dance or giggle during prayers.

I know, a terrible example. Work on myself first.
P.S. The characters above? Patience. Perseverance. Endurance.


Greg said...

I know what you mean. When in Sydney it was a constant struggle to try not to let out my frequent irritation on people and at the same time try to spend positive time with them. And it's the same here - not with people because my human interaction is less but with the discipline of doing writing, Greek, Latin etc; I still haven't touched my kumon! In fact last night I lay awake for half an hour worrying that when I started work again I would never get anything done. Planned a schedule of getting up at 6am each day to make sure I had time... :)

Cindy said...

Oh, Leonie-- great stuff!
I am going to read in more detail- as I am rushing out the door (to a workout.. lol)

But for starters... the thinking about the way we move, feel, etc is the key to weight loss- is so true! I had forgotton! I have but back on a few and do feel different and also find myself 'acting heavy'. And I remember when I lost this weight the first time I did just that.. if I felt sluggish, I jsut moved! Pictured myself as active and didn't 'run from my body' but joined with it as a gift that God gave me and moved even more!

Does this make sense?
Love your quote about interation with the kids...
And also with my work, I am in a difficult place and overwhelming myself and your thoughts on just making the next interaction better is what I need. I can't solve it all at once, but just in small steps..

thank you for the post!

Leonie said...

Greg - don't push yourself ( but I can relate!).

Cindy, it was really good for me to re-read that bit about fitness - act as you are. I haven't put on any weight but I've been feeling chubbier and cringing at photos, so it was a good reminder for me...Glad the bit about the next interaction was helpful, too. I know, sometimes I get overwhelmed and feel the guilts when I really need to only work on the next thing or being mindful for the next moment....

Ladybug Mommy Maria said...

So well said, Leonie - I totally agree - we're always making memories - now that's something to consider!

Leonie said...

Yes - the making of memories s what always seems important to me....