Thursday, January 31, 2008

Successful Marriage and Not Back to School

Wednesday was the official Back To School Day for schools here in New South Wales; the start of the new school year.

We had our own Not Back To School celebration ~ we ( Greg, Thomas, Alexander, Anthony and I) drove to the city, went to Borders and other places, met up with Jonathon after his photo shoot, caught the train to St Leonards to meet Luke for lunch. Went to Olios, a yummy Italian restaurant/cafe near Luke's work.

Trying to keep the calories down, but celebration up, I had vegetable risotto and no wine.

Back to the city where some caught a train home and some drove ( we can't all fit in one car any more).

Good day.

While at Borders I read a few women's magazines. Pretty fluffy mind stuff. One, however, had an article on Successful Marriages.

Readers shared their tips for a successful marriage.

The tips were, well, weird. In my not so humble opinion.

Like ~ never have a fight with clothes on ( can you magine it!).

But I got to thinking.This April dh and I will have been marred 29 years . ( Insert gasp. OMG. I am OLD.).

I entered marriage as a pretty young, pretty silly, pretty fun seeking university student, a student with a flippant attitude. Hey, we can divorce if it doesn't work out.

This was my family's experience of marriage. And of divorce.

So, I have often second guessed my vocation.

Was I really called to marriage and, then, to mothering?

Why has our marriage survived, been a success, considering my less-than-serious attitude to the sacrament prior to marriage and my lingering doubts over marriage as my vocation.

I think in part,that it has been laughter, our sense of humour, that has made our marriage a success. Made our marriage last.

Dh and I tend to see the silly side of situations . Like when I nearly died dring labour, having son number 5 and the nurse asked me for a name for the child they thought wouldn't live. Alhough in pain, I laughed and recited, with dh catching the drift, "Alexander; because the labour has been a Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. " As in the book by Judith Viorst.

Why laugh at a time like that?

Why not?

Have you seen Home Alone 3, where the parents are explaining that they have lost son Kevin again. The police ask if this has happened before. The parents start laughing and talk about losing Kevin at Christmas being a " McAllister family tradition."

The police are not amused.

Every time dh and I see that film, we look at each other and laugh. That comment, that laughter in sometimes inappropriate situations, is so us.

My tip for a successful marriage is laughter.

And don't take yourselves too seriously.

And... I think it's about time I stop questioning my vocation, too. Sure, I suck at many traditional mothering, wifely, housekeepy things. But dh and I have been married nearly 29 years and we and the kids are mostly, usually, funnily happy.

So, this is my vocation after all.

Took me a long time to realise that.


Susan <> said...

Gackk! I know. Laughter truly is a key ingredient in our marriage and family too.

Hmmm, a lot of our family funnies are centered around movies too. :/

I have to blog about this...:)

Anonymous said...

My husband has always cracked me up. He is a very funny guy and our sense of humor clicked the very minute we first talked to each other.

I do think humor is a major contributing factor to marital success!



HopewellMomSchool said...

"Alexander" is one of our favorite books--it's up there with "Hippos go Bizerk," "Sheep in a Jeep," "little Rabbit foo-foo" [we have the version with Foo riding a 60s-ish "mini bike"], "Click Clack Moo" and "Giggle, Giggle Quack"--all great books for adults as well as for kids. Anyway whenever we shoe shop we get into "they can make me BUY plain white...." ala Alexander at the shoe store!! In fact, my daughter will be reading it to her class today as part of her week as "Star Student' [every kid has a week]

Leonie said...

Hey, I see laughter and movies and books are connections for several of us!

mostly young said...

Hey Leonie! I bet your advice for a successful marriage would be better then most found in magazines. Although my hubby would love the "never fight with clothes on" suggestion. Then we'd, including the dc, would be nudists!

I would have to say, you can choose to laugh or cry and laughing is usually better :-)

Leonie said...

Very wise, Sabine!

Anita said...

Beautiful post Leonie; 29 years is fabulous!