Sunday, March 15, 2009

Contemplation


Contemplation. Thinking. Thoughtful observation. Full or deep consideration.

To what am I giving my full or deep consideration?

How I mother.

Something happened yesterday that made me cross. Made me seethe. Made me feel like crying.

It is okay. I got over it. I prayed. I also went to Confession over my not-very-nice-attitude.

And I wonder. Does my mothering by example work? I have been a strong believer in the maxim that if I do what is right, others will follow. That if I love what the kids love, spend time with them, treat them with respect, then they will come to love what I love ( or at least understand why I do the things I do..)....To paraphrase St John Bosco.

Or is example not enough?

The trouble is, of course, that I am not always a good example. I rarely lose my cool but when I do, boy, I am not very pleasant. And the kids can always remember my times of losing-my-cool and can re-tell them. As can I.

Yesterday, I didn't say a word. Woo hoo! Am so pleased with myself! I took dh out for lunch to make up for my bad thoughts and to make myself happy - I like snatching some time alone with dh! I did housework and worked off tension. Everyone seemed happy and oblivious to my thoughts. Good.

So, perhaps the issue is not that being a good example to my kids is not enough but that I need to work on always consistently being a good example and on accepting our differences.

Hey, I have to remember that I am the only female in a house of males and the males just seem to see things differently than I!

4 comments:

Chris said...

Far out. When I'm cross or upset I let the whole world know. I'm transparent and need to work on discipline. Not saying one word is so self controlled. I'm glad you had some alone time with Gerry. As for working off tension with house work Wow! (I type in awe).
Leonie says "Let us scrub the floor to diminish our frustrations."
Chris claps and exclaims with joy "Oh can we?"
(What is wrong with this picture?)

Leonie said...

Oh, Chris, you are too funny! lmao! :-) Hey, at least I didn't eat my frustration, as I have in the past - that consuming of ice cream or chips or cheese and crackers instead of either dealing with anger or working it off in some other way. Doing housework to work off anger was a big step for me! lol!

Chris said...

I do admire this and how much kinder you have been to your body. Instead of stuffing anger down with food you have released it in a productive way. Good on you. You are inspiring.

Leonie said...

Well, I'm working on this! I'm not always so good ( alas).