Homeschooling. A Family's Journey

I just finished reading this book by Gregory and Martine Millman.

I liked it. A good read. I enjoyed their personal story, their analogies, the way they combined their knowledge of journalism and of the financial world with their homeschooling experience. I found most of their conclusions on homeschooling to be relevant, to be generally descriptive , if sometimes a bit smug.

I hope smugness, or complacency, isn't a problem for homeschoolers. Like me.

Yet, living daily with our children , having our faults drawn to the light, seeing our interactions sketched in their lives, this living often forces us on our knees. Into prayer and not complacency.

Definitely challenges us. Takes us out of our comfort zone.

Br. L. mentioned challenging ourselves spiritually during Advent, at the parish Advent programme last night.Homeschooling challenges us spiritually. If we let it.

The Millmans write ~

We found in the course of our homeschooling that the most important part of education is a close personal relationship that folds a child in arms of love and deep respect. This is a relationship in which the parent makes a perpetual self-gift. It means that the parent never has a moment for herself ( or himself), never tries to take anything just for "me". ...

Parents can make it easier or harder for a child to live and choose and love. Many of our social institutions, and especially schools, make it harder to live and choose and love in freedom. We homeshool so that our children will be able to live and choose and love, to seek the truth in freedom.

Let me first clarify. I do have moments to myself. My workout. My morning prayer time. My time with dh. My time with friends. It is just that these moments are usually enjoyed with the kids present, around, being there...Occasionally, dh and I will go out together. Alone. Or I go out with my friends sans kids. Homeschooling is all about self giving but not really always about self sacrifice .

That said, it is the self gift that makes homeschooling work. Not the lesson plans,books, curricula.

The giving of self in presence, in discussion. And these discussions or teachable moments come not when planned but when guided by the minute, the time taken to pick up on something and talk and clarify and share.

Yesterday we had a no formal work, typical unschooling day. I could write in my homeschool log that the kids played with a friend, played computers,went to the dentist, read, watched DVDS. Making it sound like a do nothing, learn nothing day.

But I am an unschooler. I see learning everywhere. I know it is impossible to stop learning, especially the often hidden agenda of learning in the affective realm, the learning that happens inside, the thinking, the touching of the soul, the formation of the character, the learning how to be with others, how to live.

So, on our no formal schoolwork , typical for us unschooling day we also got into a long philosophical discussion on actions that are morally right or morally justified. This was over a game - my four teens, including my 13 year old, and me and one of the kids’ friends. We talked about what the Church teaches and then our friend asked, simply because he is not Catholic - but how could what the Church teaches apply to me? So then we talked about truth, about absolute truth, about logic, about the Bible...

Truth is a relation which holds (1) between the knower and the known -- Logical Truth; (2) between the knower and the outward expression which he gives to his knowledge -- Moral Truth; and (3) between the thing itself, as it exists, and the idea of it, as conceived by God -- Ontological Truth. In each case this relation is, according to the Scholastic theory, one of correspondence, conformity, or agreement (St. Thomas, Summa I:21:2). the Catholic Encyclopedia

I couldn’t have planned a better religious and philosophical discussion had I tried. We didn't do our usual Wednesday religion reading. But we did discuss Truth. We researched. We debated.

I stopped working on a carols booklet in order to discuss and research. Yes, I gave my time. So what? That is what I am called to do. There is no extra merit in stopping one thing to do what I am supposed to do, as a homeschooling mother. Giving of myself. And yet I still received blessings, the blessing of discussion. Of being with my sons and their friend. Of sharing faith.

Love. Saint Josemaria Escriva said 'Love is deeds, not sweet words.' When we say love we do not mean tender feelings and we do not mean tough love. We mean self-sacrifice and self-gift. This love that can only come from faith and trust. Give yourself. Sometimes giving yourself means being tender and sometimes it means exercising discipline to help a child grow in strength and character. Always examine yourself to make sure that the choice you are making is not for yourself but for your child, so that your child will grow in freedom and truth." To quote the Millmans yet again..