Why Ms Keneally is wrong...Love and Responsibility

Kristina Keneally, former premier of New South Wales, a self professing Catholic politician, writes a piece on Why I Support Gay Marriages.

Now, I could refute her article on many terms...Church teaching, dissidence, informed conscience, sacramentality of marriage, importance of marriage laws for the protection of women and of children, fallacious and emotive argument ....I will, however, restrict myself, to one of the many inaccuracies contained in her argument.

"....homosexual acts are preferable to living a life where one can never give expression to one's sexuality."

Oh dear. Herein lies the inaccuracy. That expression of sexuality relies solely on the sexual act itself.

This is a purely a utilitarian point of view of sexuality.

The sexual urge...is a natural drive born in all human beings, a

vector of aspiration along which their whole existence develops

e for enjoyment this inner life of the person

and perfects itself from within... If...the sexual urge is understood

as...a drive for enjoyment this inner life of the person

is almost totally negated... The sexual urge in man is a fact

which he must...welcome as a source of natural energy. Pope John Paul II,Love and Responsibility

The sexual urge, our sexuality, is not to be used ..for us or for others. It is a gift from God. It is expressed in our love for others, our natural creative energy, our passions...and not only strictly in a physical sense.

I can be chaste and yet still express my sexuality..by my life, my creativity, my

vocation, my love.

Love between persons...must possess a clear-cut objective

purpose... Man’s capacity for love depends on his willingness

consciously to seek a good together with others... From the

desire for the ‘unlimited’ good of another ‘I’ springs the whole

creative drive of true love. Ibid

Man's creativity is often fueled by love. not by requiring a physical sexual union or by a burying of love nor by a lack of expression of sexuality.

If we limit the expression of our sexuality to the physical act of sex, we miss out on the fullness of our expression of humanity, our passions, we deny whole sections of our sexuality and creativity .....simply in order to reduce human sexuality to a mere physical act.

Even if we never experience the physical act of sexuality, we still experience our sexuality, we still express it, in our love and actions, for the greater good.

The dignity of the person demands control of concupiscence. If

the person does not exercise such control it...allows an

inferior...part of itself to enjoy freedom of action, and indeed

subjects itself to this lesser self... Control of concupiscence has

as its objective not only the perfection of the person who attempts

to achieve it, but also the realization of love in the world of persons. Ibid

This is the danger of this part of Keneally's argument , that one cannot live a full life without expressing one's sexuality via open acts of sexual union, via changing marriage laws to adapt to a person's desires and not for the good of society. Her statement reduces sexual orientation and sexuality to one element alone..the physical sense..and this denies the ultimate good of individuals and of society. This denies love itself. Love which means thinking of another, not having to express sexuality on our own terms, not having to form society to fit my desires, my carnal desires, my concupiscence.

Only the chaste..are capable of true love...

Chastity frees their association...from

that tendency to use a person which

is...incompatible with ‘loving kindness’...

The essence of chastity

consists in quickness to affirm the

value of the person in every situation...

Chastity...does involve a certain

humility of the body. Ibid

We can express our sexuality in our chastity, in affirming the value of ourselves and of others.

Ms Keneally, with her degree in theology, needs to read Love and Responsibility. And the Catechism of the Catholic Church. With logic and reasoning. And prayer and love.

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I'm a list maker.

I can't help myself.

Have a problem? Make a list of steps to take to fix up the problem...or at least making it more livable.

Many things to do? Write out that To Do list.

Money problems? Relationship hassles? Diet thoughts? List those solutions.....

Talking about want tos and want to dos with the kids? Grab that paper and pen, that IPad, and list.

Good books? Movies we want to watch? Places we want to visit? List, list, list.

Years ago, I even wrote a list of How To Unschool....People First headed the list. Most necessary as I can be task oriented.

As in this article..How To Be A Good Unschooler...

I think this is is the why behind my list making. I want to be Good. Hermione good.

Transcendent in awe.

One of the feast days this week was that of St John Chrysostom.

Pope Benedict XVI, in 2007, on the anniversary of the saint's death, wrote of St John and the Divine Liturgy.

"St John understood that the Divine Liturgy situated the believer spiritually between his life on earth and the heavenly reality which was promised to him by the Lord.....

These sacred rites, says St John, ?are not only marvelous to behold, but transcendent in awe. There stands the priest ... bringing down the Holy Spirit, and he prays at length ... that grace descending on the sacrifice may thereby enlighten the minds of all and render them more resplendent than silver purified by fire.""

Transcendent. Between heaven and earth. Out of the ordinary experience. Exceptional.

Not lacklustre liturgy.

Not banal trite catechism for children and adults.

But a chance to bridge that gap between the ordinary and the sacred.

To enlighten minds and souls.

In liturgy. And in our teaching.

You could have heard a pin drop in catechism class this week when we talked about the Mass, when we looked at sacred vessels, at crystal cruets, at polished bells. A ripple of a sigh, of awe, at the beauty ...not for the ordinary but for the special, for the celebration of mass, for preparing to receive Jesus in the Eucharist.

The need for sacred, for ritual, for beauty, for intellect, ideas out of the ordinary (transubstantiation,...the children rolled the words on their tongues, nodded as we spoke of the Body and of the Blood).. These needs were all fed, not by simplistic, euphemistic terms, not by garish drawings but by Truth and Beauty.

We build our Catholic identity, in ourselves and in the children, through sacred liturgy and an understanding of the liturgy. All senses are filled. Heart, mind, body, soul. We build a relationship with Our Lord...and this is shared with others. In true education. In true evangelization . In true ecumenism. In true social justice.

Emanating from that awe at transcendence.

Sittin' in the sun, unschooling

As I sit in the sun on the front verandah, with youngest son Anthony, drinking tea, having a late lunch, discussing punk rock, Fr Laux's Catholic Apologetics. (I'm really liking this book, says Anthony) and Thoreau, my paperwork by my side, The Help waiting on kindle, an interlude before I go to work, I think.... I am so glad that we have unschooled.

It's that memory snapshot.

Homeschooling Resource Meme

I have been tagged by Leanne.

1.One homeschool book you have enjoyed.... From my earlier Homeschooling years...I used to re-read these regularly...Teach Your Own by John Holt ( one of the first Homeschool books I ever read), Better Than School by Nancy Wallace, For the Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macauley, The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook by Raymond and Dorothy Moore (originally published as something like Avoiding Homeschool Burnout.)...I do know thats more than one...

2. One book/ resource I wouldn’t be without.....The Internet. Totally. How did I Homeschool before the Internet? And the library.

3. One resource you wish you never purchased....oh my gosh, probably so many! But one that stands out is the Apologia Science Chemistry book. Dry as dust and none of us, yes even me, could get into it. Not even as a reference or supplement.

4. One resource you enjoyed last year....the Think blog. Most weeks we tried the Science/Thinking skills activites and problems. For awhile anyway. Before life got too busy with other things. It was fun! And I took photos or blogged as documentation.

5. One resource you will be using next year. ...this year? Sandra Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling. I downloaded it onto iBooks and I think it will be good for me, down to my last unschool school aged son, to revisit some unschooling ideas and to talk about them with Anthony and with others. Mum's reading inevitably affects our Homeschooling...in this house, anyway!


6. One resource you would like to purchase.... I don't know if there is one! Let me think...probably a learn to speak Portuguese resource, for Anthony and Thomas, in preparation for WYD 2013 in Rio Di Janeiro.

7. One resource you wish existed.... Not much really, we live and learn and use whatever we find...but maybe, when the boys were younger, a crystal ball to let me know that our relaxed Homeschooling, our unschooling, Would Work! (It has!)

8. One homeschool catalogue you enjoy reading... I used to love the Sonlight catalogue, for book suggestions, though I haven't read it for several years now. I have also loved the FUN books website.

9. One homeschool website you use regularly...none really (blushes). I read blogs on an ad hoc basis, I read our Unschooling Catholics email list, I sometimes read the Unschooling Basics email list, I used to love the old Unschooling dotcom forum and I used to read the 4 Real Learning forum more, when I had more time....

10. Tag other homeschoolers....Lisa, Faith, Cay

Unschooling quotes..

From yesterday, a very busy day of work and work meetings..."I am so glad I unschool, I wouldn't have time to homeschool..."

Ouch!

Which is not strictly true, unschooling does take time but a very different sort of time. Or management. Or supervision. As in yesterday, when I was out at work and work meeting, unschooling didn't mean leaving Anthony to his own devices. Instead, it meant me encouraging him to go to university with his brothers, take his maths and Physics to work on, hang out at the library and with his brothers and their friends...

From today...looking at the clock and knowing it is almost time for us to leave for my Kumon centre..."Where did the time go??? and no schoolwork!"

At which comment we both laughed..because Anthony has spent time reading his book, the book borrowed from the university library yesterday. "The Greatness That Was Babylon."

Unschooling quotes, out of context, can be misleading....

Today

Tired. Bone tired. "Making your way upstairs is too hard" tired.

Prayer, I know some people who need prayer today.

Crunch workout. Belly Butt and Thighs Bootcamp. Bright happy clothes at 6 am help.

Saving moments of grace come in hugs and conversation with some young children at work. "Did you see my Fiji stuff? You can hear the sea in this shell."

In a cup of tea and a shared chocolate bar with Anthony, at the breakfast bar, paying bills, paperwork.

And hanging out at the library with Anthony. Him for research. Me for Kumon work and a Kumon consult.

Inadvertently we dress alike. Blue jeans, purple shirt, black jackets, black converse.

Twins. Arnie Schwartznegger and Danny De Vito.

What interest will Anthony find, for his next unschooling rabbit trail?

Yesterday was writing on the immortality of the soul. A quote from his writing...."We can easily draw the following conclusion: that there is within us a power which we call intellect or reason; a thinking or rational substance which we call the soul. A thinking substance must be a simple spiritual substance. A simple spiritual substance is independent of matter. What is independent of matter can exist apart from matter."

Today? Enjoying the library. The sun through the many glass windows. The sofas and cushions.

And work.

And errands.

And perhaps some reading.

Before more work.

And prayer.

Finding God in all things.

Contemplation in action.

Describing Ignatian spirituality ( James Martin's The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything, some of my Kindle reading)

Yet describing the life of a wife and mother...perpetual action and motion , sprinkled with prayer and contemplation.

"The road is our home."

( Jeronimo Nadal, Jesuit, early companion of St Ignatius of Loyola, )

Vocation

"When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die." Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "The Cost of Discipleship."

There are different kinds of dying.

This is, however, the essence of discipleship. And often the essence of our vocations.

It's not always easy to live out our vocations , be they to marriage, parenthood, religious life, priesthood...

But we do it. We live, we follow Christ, and sometimes we die a little bit inside.

Yet we are never alone. We have His graces.

We follow Him, we die and out of what feels like the ashes of our vocation, is borne a strength, a faith.

This is the cost of discipleship.

And the joy.

A mother's heart

A mother teaches. A mother guides. A mother laughs. A mother shares. A mother loves. A mother spends time.

A mother cares . Keeps her children close. And a mother lets go.

When I became a Catholic, I struggled to understand devotion to Our Lady, and to the Rosary.

But time spent praying the rosary, trying to understand the rosary and meditation, pondering each mystery , brought me towards Our Mother. I began to understand motherhood in the light of Our Lady. And her life.

Mary spent her life in motherhood. Motherhood as a vocation. Motherhood as a life.

And her motherhood is universal. She mothers us all.

The more years I mother, mother children and young adults of varying stages, caring for my children and for others, the more I understand that love means letting go. Sometimes even loving from a distance.

I was often, am often, like little Lovejoy in Rumer Godden's " An Episode of Sparrows".....

"'Hail Mary,' prayed Lovejoy between her teeth, 'Mary, make me cocky and independent.'"

Hail Mary, I sometimes pray silently, make me tough, make me strong.

And Mary takes my prayers, just as she took Lovejoy's prayers and she prays to her Son. And just like Lovejoy becomes vulnerable and has to accept care and love, though fiercely independent, so I become vulnerable and less knowing, in love.

I love and let go. I am both strong and weak, tough and soft.

With Mary as my role model, as my guide, my help, my intercessor.

Life with the......

A day in the life of... An answer to those who asked how Unschooling looks for families with teens.

5.44 am Mobile phone alarm beeps. I jump out of bed  to grab the phone and switch off the alarm because  I can't bear the noise and don't want it to wake the family. Then, because it's cold and wet, and because I went to bed at midnight doing work for Kumon, I take my phone back to bed with me for ten minutes. I say a few Hail Marys.

6.05 am Doing a Taebo workout in my room. Time for a half hour workout today... Total Body Blast, kickboxing and light weights. Go Billy Blanks!

6.40 am Getting dressed for work at OOSH. I lay my uniform and jeans and Converse  out the night
before so I don't have to think in the morning. Because I took those ten minutes in bed there is no time now to wash and dry my hair so I put it in pigtails.

6.50 am Leave  for work... Running a bit late.

7.00-9.30 am Work as a co-ordinator at an out of school hours care centre. Set up dominoes and tristar games and pet portraits, chat to children and parents and staff, do paperwork, plan afternoon activities.

While at home, builders arrive to fix the termite damage in our rental home. Jonathon and Alexander in Madrid for WYD (lucky things!) and Greg is home for a week before going to the US for postulancy and novitiate. So Greg, Anthony, Thomas get up, workout, tidy, talk, pray, breakfast, computer, errands

9.40 am Home from work, talk to a Kumon parent on the phone, say hi to builders and sons, check email on my phone. Anthony makes a pot of tea and we try to find a quiet builder free area to talk. Can Anthony's friend come over? Will Greg proofread Anny's report on Sir Robert Menzies? We all talk, look up movies online, go on Facebook, Thomas writes a blogpost.Anthony puts on a load of laundry and we laugh at how much less washing we have with two away.

About that report. A couple of weeks back it came to me that we were inadvertently studying Australian history this year ( see my post on Inadvertent Homeschooling). With trips and outings and books that came our way. So I suggested to Anthony that he write a report on a famous person in Australian history.. And this he finished yesterday.

About that blog post. A long discussion in Melbourne , about writing and commitment and self discipline and a friend's blog, encouraged
Thomas'  blog, Life as a student.

10.10 I go to finally wash that hair, reading a bit of Merton's Seven Storey Mountain  ( that modern spiritual classic) and the beginning of Run Your Butt Off (an introduction to running as a workout and sport) on the way. Anthony and Greg play a video game with Anthony's friend , David. Then David and Anthony play some piano.

10,55 Say goodbye to the builders... They should be finished this weekend and painters in next week! Yay! Kids drop me off to my eye specialist appointment and they head off to the shopping mall. In the waiting room I start to blog, watch the news, read parts of the aforementioned books. This is my rest! Or at least how I look at it... Not boring waiting time!

I look at my To Do list... Is there anything I can do while in the waiting room? I pray the prayer on the holy card I use as a bookmark.

I download some songs on ITunes and field another call from a Kumon parent. While the boys visit the shops and library.

Does it seem like I am filling in time??

I pray for the pilgrims in Madrid.. That plenary indulgence you know!

1.20  pm Finally texting Greg to pick me up... Waited two hours for a six minute consult!

1.49 At the food court for lunch. Lentil beetroot fetta salad! Anthony and his friend play with Bucky Balls, beads with which they make creations. Greg goes to the orthodontist and Thomas to work as an assistant at a nearby Kumon centre. I talk, text, catch up on email. With a skim chai latte!

2.53 pm Rushing to work, late again. Anthony with his friend David at home, playing games and music and reading. Greg will take Anthony to piano lessons at 5pm while I plan indoor activities for the kids at OOSH on this rainy, windy day.

6.05 Walking in the rain, waiting for my lift home from work. Then we leave a car for Thomas at his work, so he can drive to youth group in our parish after work. Home to say hi to dh, home early from work interstate in Canberra. Anthony tells me about music lessons. Builders have finished and gone! I dry my hair and we go to mass in our parish and Anthony then to meet Thomas at youth group.

We talk about St Louis of Anjou, the first Franciscan bishop. And hear from our pilgrims in Spain... It's amazing!

I get to pray the Morning and Evening prayers of the Office before and after mass ( yay! But hangs head in shame re catch up). Then home to pick up dh ... Just we three, Gerry, Greg and I for dinner, some time to chat before Greg goes away.

Where shall we eat?

8.44 At a local Thai restaurant. Thomas and Anny still at youth group. Hearing all about WYD from pilgrims and about studies in the US from Greg.

9.48 Meet T and A at McDonalds for coffee and chat about youth group. Still cold. Pouring rain.

Discuss tomorrow's plans.

Discuss items in the newspaper.

And talk about writing. And blogs. And personal culpability. And mental health problems.

10.48 pm Home . Very , very cold. Anthony does more laundry. I tidy up. We pray and get ready for bed. I make a To Do list for tomorrow, adding the many things I didn't do today.

An early night.. We were going to watch an episode of Numbers (Maths and crime!) but we are oh so tired  after a busy week... So bed and reading for us all ( and blogging for me!)

It's Strewsday!

And so.. Why not visit theUnschooling Catholics blog?

And do some strewing yourself.....strewing conversation, as I talk about in the post above.

Love and commitment

Love and commitment

You know, when you read those How To Keep Your Marriage Alive books, the one thing they tell you to do is communicate.

You know, when you read those How To Keep Your Teenager Close books, the one thing they tell you to do is communicate.

But.. Well... sometimes communication just doesn't cut it.

Sometimes you don't even like each other that much.. At the moment. And the thought of communicating , of working on the relationship, is almost like pulling teeth.

Actually, you would rather have your teeth pulled than work on this together.

And, you know, that's okay.

Because, contrary to the advice in the popular self books, communication is not the most important tool in the relationship box.

Commitment is the most important tool.

Serious commitment.

Seriously.

It's when we make a commitment to a relationship, be it marriage, parenting, that special friend, it's at the moment of commitment that we hold in our hands the most effective tool for the development of the relationship.

For love is commitment. 

We commit to that relationship .. Regardless. There will be problems, there will be times when you annoy or hurt each other, when you feel all is lost, when you want the other to leave or the teen to grow up and away or the friend not to call or text.

In these times, it is your commitment to the relationship that makes a difference. 

Commitment makes a difference to you. Because you don't give up on the relationship. Even when you want to.

And commitment makes a big difference to the other. The spouse, the teen, the friend. That know , deep inside, even when they don't consciously recall it, even when all seems lost, they know that, in spite of hard and horrible times, there will be good times and that you will be there for them . Always.

"The future starts today, not tomorrow." 
— Blessed John Paul II

It does. It starts today with relationships built on commitment.

A poverty of culture

A poverty of culture.

I'm quoting British PM David Cameron here.

His phrase, in reference to the British riots and to a loss of a sense of right and wrong, of values, has been our driving-in-the-car discussion.

Because, sadly, I see this poverty of culture with many children. They are materially comfortable but culturally, aesthetically, spiritually poor.

Their dreams have been reduced to good grades, being good at sport, looking cool, getting the latest technology, reality TV and one day having a good job and a nice house.

And they are starved. They have a vacuum within, a vacuum they try to fill with things, with activities, with fun, with friends.

Our culture has let them down. We have sunk, many times, to the lowest common denominator in our entertainment, in our books, our television watching, to whet our baser appetites for more. As in that Merton quote.

We have dumbed down our curriculum. Made it politically correct. Taking away all the study of beauty, of art or of poetry, any study of art and poetry for their own right, to reduce it to study for outcomes. Be introduced to genre. Learn to write an exposition. Learn an art
technique, study the theme of revolution in poetry...not poetry for enjoyment. Watch what amounts to political propaganda for religion. And
do all this to achieve the outcome, to fit our current ideologies , not to see the beauty of the written word or of the artwork. Not for enjoyment. But for utilitarian purposes.

The same could be be said of the Christian world or of the Church. In an effort to be relevant, the Church has lost its sense of the sacred in many places and in some liturgies. Christian art and Christian music is often banal and pop culture driven. The children , the young people
don't come to church, to worship, in an atmosphere that inspires awe. They come to be entertained, to see friends, because they should .
And when that fails they often leave. They don't see anything in Church that the world can't offer.

And don't give me the old tired statement that children nowadays aren't interested in the sacred, in beauty, in being brought out of themselves and their utilitarian media and consumer driven culture.

I work with kids. And when, for example, instead of self-centred morning news at OOSH, I introduce discussion on a staff member's trip tp World Youth Day and Spain, are the children bored? To the contrary. They tell me what they know of Spain, they ask questions, we discuss
the Spanish culture.

Or they look at the artwork on my IPad when I take it in for use on "lazy day". Who's that? Mary. A painting by Raphael. Who's he? An artist.
And they are interested. They look at the colours, at other paintings.

And the children in catechism class show a similar interest and thirst. Not for the curriculum of "niceness" but for something that inspires. We talk about WYD, we look up Spain on the map, we discuss Spanish food and icons. I talk about St Ignatius of Loyola and St Mary of the Cross, recent feast days, and the boys' eyes light up when they hear about St Ignatius being a soldier. They ask questions about what he
read to make him want to be a priest, about why Jesuits often had to smuggle into England to say mass during the Reformation and post-
Reformation, they ask about living a life for something and not giving up. "Oh, like when you told us fortitude! " Yes, when we talked about
the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Wow, they remember. They understand. They have a thirst for real knowledge, for visions, for dreams, for the
sacred, for things outside of themselves or out of the ordinary.

After Mass on Sunday night, a mother came to me with her son, I said hello as I teach this little boy in Catechism. She said yes, all he
could do during mass was keep pointing me out, telling his mum the things he had learned in class. Now, I am not saying this because I think it is admirable for children to talk in mass. Or because I want you to think I am the world's best teacher. I am sharing because this incident illustrates my point. That these children can understand beauty and the sacred, can be interested in that which is good and true.

We just have to feed them the right stuff. Give them the beauty. Encourage awe. Give them a sense of the sacred. The truth. The higher
purpose.

We have to create a culture of value. Not a poverty of culture.

Thomas Merton was converted to a life for God in part by the beauty of sacred art. Surely our children deserve the same opportunity for conversion?

Ruby Strewsday

Strewsday

Faith is hosting a regular Tuesday Strewsday. Sharing that with which we have strewn our children's paths.

Okay, I know it's not Tuesday. I know I'm late. It's been that kind of a week.

And because it's been that kind of a week I have been at wit's end, trying to think what exactly it is that I, that we, have strewn this week.

Ummm...

Then it came to me.

I may not have been doing a great deal of visible, intentional strewing for my homeschooler, for the family, but I have been strewing myself. My life.

In my interactions. My discussions. My silences. My actions. My life of attempted consistency, of trying , of striving to be faithful, of going to Mass, praying the Divine Office, sharing the liturgical year, going to work, household chores, workouts, reading, work at home, writing..

In the end, it is who I am and what I do that speak volumes to my children. Especially to young adults and teens . Who look beyond the rhetoric and the public persona to the real mother.

"...the most effective educational method is not the word of instruction but the living example without which all words remain useless. " from "Woman" , page six, Edith Stein (St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross)

Why go to adoration?

Someone asked me why I go to Eucharistic Adoration. And how a seemingly ADD, doing sort of person can sit and kneel, silently, in adoration.

"We live in a society whose whole policy is to excite every nerve in the human body and keep it at the highest pitch of artificial tension, to strain every human desire to the limit and to create as many new desires and synthetic passions as possible, in order to cater to them with the products of our factories and printing presses and movie studios and all the rest." Thomas Merton, Seven Storey Mountain

And yet, when I sit in adoration of Our Lord, in church , I am drawn apart from this tension. I am with God.

So this is my answer.

In Adoration, I am taken out of self, away from desire. I am with God.

A bit of a through-the -Stargate -experience, for those fans of the science fiction television series Stargate. For I am out of my world, my noisy busy world, and I feel alone with God. Sometimes praying. Sometimes just being. Sometimes laying down all my thoughts and prayers and concerns for others, for this busy world .

"To visit the Blessed Sacrament is . . . a proof of gratitude, an expression of love, and a duty of adoration toward Christ our Lord." (CCC 1418)

Inadvertent Homeschooling

Inadvertent Homeschooling 

Inadvertent. Not resulting from deliberate planning. 

There are times when our Homeschooling looks almost unintentional. Inadvertent even. 

Where learning and activities and themes just seem to happen, to arise from the dust and, like a Phoenix, to  arise in glory. 

I call this inadvertent Homeschooling. Where themes and connections appear to happen almost inadvertently...without deliberate planning. Just by being and doing.

The old maxim fail to plan, plan to fail does not consistently apply in Homeschooling. There are times, many times, many seasons, where deliberately choosing not to plan but to mosey along is the right path. Leads to learning.

And to our inadvertent themes.

Not themes of work planned and implemented and tweaked as we go.

But themes that must happen...so that one day, filling out our journal or log, talking, thinking about an outing or a book, we realize that there has been a theme and connection in our life and learning. Looks good on paper. Our thematic learning. Post and not pre-programmed. Recognized and written in our log after the fact.

Like our Australian unit this year.

Who knew we were going to get into Australian history?

Yet, looking back on the months so far of 2011, I see a theme, placed inadvertently amongst a visit to the King Tut museum, to trips to Melbourne, amidst some Maths and Physics and Latin and debates on liturgy. 

We moved house. In the unpacking, Anthony rediscovered the My Story books, novels set in differing periods of Australian history. I began to find these left on a chair or a sofa, as he reread .

Looking for a post Easter activity, I remembered a reasonably local museum. So off we traipsed and learned about local Australian history and geography.

Awhile later, we were discussing church architecture and Anthony mentioned that he had wanted to visit the crypt of St Mary's Cathedral. Another outing, this time just we two, And a visit to the crypt told the story of colonial Sydney. Which made me drag out our copies of The Pictorial History of the Catholic Church in Australia.

Then, I found a leaflet about the Rocks Discovery Museum...the early settlement of Sydney Town. With wandering around the Rocks and Sydney Harbour and pancakes for lunch to follow.

Now if someone asks what-we-are-doing-for-school, we can say Australian history. Inadvertently.

Who knew that 2011 would involve Homeschooling with Australian history?

We deliberately failed to plan but no, we haven't failed. We have learned. We have had fun. 

Again. 

The learning inadvertent to life and fun. 

Fitness. Highs. Lows.

Fitness Highs and Lows

July Highs

1. Did copious weights workouts. Kelley Coffey-Myers 30 Minutes to Fitness Weights and Jari Love's Get Extremely Ripped, split onto the two thirty minute workouts. When work is busy and I am short of time...I need thirty minute workouts. But tough, effective ones. These two are great, especially for biceps and pecs and both are active so get your heart rate up for a cardio effect (think Body Pump classes).

2. Read some stuff on the whys of eating....parts of the Don't Go Hungry For Life book, parts of Losing It In France, parts of Intuitve Eating.

What is intuitive eating?

"It is free of obsession. It acknowledges that our compulsions are due to biochemical or emotional reasons and any over- or under-eating is a clue to begin looking further as an opportunity for learning."

3. I went to a dinner dance on Saturday night and I ate all three courses but only half of everything...it's okay, others at the table liked my leftovers! Half my pumpkin soup, half the fish and vegetables, half the caramel apple tart. And practiced some moderation with alcohol! Woo hoo!

July Lows

1. I put on some kilos. Yes, that little, horrible, sneaky weight trip. I realize that for me it's not enough to try to be intuitive, to be honest ....less intuition and more self discipline seem to be the ticket here. I mean, the feel good stuff is good is but I need plans and action. I'm just that kind of person. Hence my moderation at the dinner dance (see above) and my moderation all weekend. Go girl!

2. Not enough cardio. In line with the above, I realized that I need more cardio. Tough love. The last two days I have been doing those walking and jogging workouts, 45 minutes. I kind of like those endorphins and I need that cardio to lose that weight. Your mileage may vary but this works for me. And changing it up.

3. I hate my body. There, I said it. Not following a plan makes me feel fat, and makes me actually fat...those kilos I mentioned above. My skinny jeans fit but I look fat in them. My abs have gone to hell. See what happens when I don't watch what I eat...whereas two days of cardio and A Plan make me feel less fat... Sure I haven't lost weight yet, weight loss is slow for me, I know I am always in this for life and I am not after fast weight loss or a perfect body...but I feel more in control with that sensible eating plan. An "I've got this covered" feeling!

So there you have it. My July fitness post.

I've brushed myself off, thinking positively, dragged out some old mottoes, created some new.

"I've lost 40 kg in the last, a few kgs now won't be hard." No, that one doesn't work anymore. Makes.me feel like a failure.

" I take care of myself." Yes, that's a new one but a good one. A reminder when I want to turn to food.

" What I want most, WIWM." Yep, that still works. I really want to be healthier, look better in my clothes, not avoid the mirror when I'm wearing my skinny jeans or getting dressed.

" It's not an option INO." From Secrets of a Former Fat Girl. And, yes, it's not an option to drop the plan, I'm not like other people who can eat or not eat and not worry. I have a history of eating disorders so their eating and exercise habits are not an option for me.

And - " I don't do that any more." No, I don't. Or I tell myself I don't. Don't eat emotionally, for example. Don't expect perfection. Don't make it too hard or too easy on myself.

I don't.

Do you have any July fitness highs and lows?

Two Days..or..What do unschoolers do with their days?

Two Days

"I will attempt, day by day, to break my will into pieces. I want to do God's Holy Will, not my own!" – St. Gabriel Possenti

And there are times, daily times, ordinary times, when doing God's will is doing just that...just the ordinary.

Unschooling this week has been ordinary and far from ordinary.

And I strive to balance my paid work, that which I do for the good of the family, with my work as a mother of young adults and a Homeschooling mother, responsible for an unschooling fifteen year old. Because although we might not be doing school we are educating. And kids, homeschooled kids, even home schooled teens, need time.

So, I try to break my will into pieces. And enjoy our unschooling days.

Two different days.

One a day of outings...upon my return from morning work, we discuss the saint for the day and the day's events. Let's go to the city!

I take my iPad for I know that I have work for Kumon. The kids read... talk... and listen to music in the car. We walk through Hyde Park, heads down, hoods on, hands in pockets, slumped against the rain. We split up..two of us to a bookstore, two to look at clothes, one to wander on his own. I check out perfumes on the way..

I work , sitting amongst books at the bookstore. I have a long telephone conference call. I look briefly at two books with a son and we all gather again for lunch in a food court. And discussion.

It is this discussion that educates. Be it on our morning, our books, our thoughts, our food.

Before we rush home. Me to afternoon work and some of the kids to finish decorating our Hat Cake.

And our outings close with Mass and the St Anthony novena.

The next day is different. More at home.

Perhaps more ordinary.

But unschooling is never really ordinary.

I work morning and afternoon shifts. One son works. One son teaches guitar in the evening, to students at their house and to his younger brother and a friend at our house. Another son takes the youngest and friends to drama class, and picks them up again. I teach Catechism to year two in the local school...and so results a discussion on the beatitudes and on being nice, that ubiquitous nice. Over coffee with a visitor.

And card games. And writing. And reading. And junk mail delivery. And mum cooks a late dinner after work, to have over episodes of Merlin with a friend.

Two days. Different. But oriented towards the day by day. That is what makes a life. An education. Day by day. Little by little.

Do unschoolers set goals?

Do unschoolers set goals?

That has been our discussion at the Unschooling Catholics blog and email list. Check out our post on BHAGs and on living and learning alongside, leaning on that truck.

You know, sometimes we set goals or share visions and dreams. Sometimes we set ourselves targets and deadlines. And sometimes we fly by the seat of our pants.

I think both are valid.

They just suit different seasons of life.

Always being goal oriented can mean that we feel a trifle driven.

Now, driven can be good. Can keep us focused on that vision, can keep us on the straight and narrow so to speak.

Sometimes, however, we can concentrate so much on the goal that we lose sight of the passes, the twists, the turns, the cracks in the pavement along the way.

So maybe it is okay to have a goal yet to hold that goal loosely in our palm and be open to the little moments in life... The nudging of the Holy Spirit, the interruption, that teachable moment, seeing God in our daily interactions and serving Him with joy in our daily tasks.

And sometimes setting aside those tasks to follow the moment.. The sudden passion for a movie, a book, an urge to cook with mum, to go to the park or for a walk..

I often call this learning by osmosis. Goal or vision in mind but the how-to of achieving that goal is immersed in the living a good life. A life worth living. Good and bad. All things working for the good of those who love the Lord (to paraphrase St Paul).

Chatting to friends at dinner last night , we came upon goals, lofty goals, in homeschooling. And I said that while people may not want to read a book about my homeschooling (Battle Hymn of the Elephant Mother?) or want to pay money to hear me speak about my homeschooling method (in a nut shell - prayer and hang out together)... While this may be too simple to fill a homeschooling tome, nevertheless my goal in Unschooling has been to give the kids a good childhood. And knowing that the rest will follow.

A good childhood. A Swallows and Amazons , a Chalet School childhood.

Adventures. Freedom. Nature. Play and more play. Community. Mixed ages. Learning through interests and life. Faith. The tools of learning. Books. Time. Masterly inactivity on the part of mum. Hanging out together. Friends and family. Prayer. Knowledge shared over cups of tea and books and in museums and art galleries and bookshops and discussing movies and after Mass or over those rosary beads.

A time for focused formal study and much more time for exploration and hanging out and for play.

It paints a rosy picture, doesn't it? And while things may not always be rosy, the goal of a good childhood, while learning in a family focused environment , is always lingering n my mind. Helping me to make a choice, to pull up my socks mentally when things are less than rosy and work towards joy. And learning. And prayer.

That's why this unschooler believes in goals.... loose, flowing goals. With a strong dash of determination, commitment and perseverance.

Sprinkled liberally with prayer and thus steeped with liturgy and devotions.

St. Jane Frances de Chantal...The great method of prayer is to have none. If in going to prayer one can form in oneself a pure capacity for receiving the spirit of God, that will suffice for all method.

The Little Way

It is no coincidence that the Catholic unschooling book, the one to which I am a contributor, is called A Little Way of Homeschooling.

No coincidence at all.

Because our lives as wives and mothers, as Christians, are often made up of that little way. Serving God in little ways. And often without recognition. Often, too, with disapproval and criticism.

And homeschooling, unschooling, trusting in the child and his learning, in the rich home environment, in the Holy Spirit can appear to be the most little way of all.

Seemingly nothing.

Yet everything.

Living a vocation and giving our all to Our Lord. With love and trust.

And it comes with a cost.

And with love.

St Therese of Lisieux, Doctor of the Church, wrote of assisting an arthritic nun in the community:

"Finally we reached the refectory without mishap; and here other difficulties arose. I had to seat Sister St Pierre and I had to act skilfully in order not to hurt her; then I had to turn back her sleeves (again in a certain way), and afterward I was free to leave. With her poor cripple's hands she was trying to manage with her bread as well as she could. I soon noticed this, and, each evening, I did not leave her until after I had rendered her this little service. As she had not asked for this, she was very much touched by my attention, and it was by this means that I gained her entire good graces.."

This is not a sentimental love, a love that says words but is based on self. This is love enacted, by paying attention to a person, honouring that person, honouring that God loves that person.

This is the way God loves us.

And how can we show our love for God and others? We can offer up all that we have and do. We can make small sacrifices for the sake of others...we wives and mothers can offer sacrifices and do penance for our family , for their souls, for their vocations, their chastity, their lives.

Those little things. That little way.

St Therese said again.."Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by scattering flowers and these flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love."

Every little sacrifice.

Sacrifice?

Penance?

How does that work?

Penance has not only have a sanctifying effect on us as individuals ( to restrain the inordinate inclinations of self-love, as St Alphonsus Liguori wrote), but also on the Church as a whole. The more our life is patterned after the life of our Our Lord and Saviour, whose act of redemption entailed the greatest sacrifice, well, the more we will make up what is lacking in the body of Christ. As Saint Paul tells us ( Colossians 1:24).

But you know it is sometimes those little sacrifices that loom the biggest. That appear to be most hard.

I can get a rosy , aren't I so good, feeling from a big sacrifice...but the little every day sacrifices can seem so hard.

A penance, a sacrifice, offered in love for another can appear to be seemingly small...like giving up milk in one's cup of tea. And praying for the other.

Yet who knew that one would crave a cup of tea with milk. Who knew that one would find this sacrifice so hard, that it would be a true penance and a true occasion for prayer...and for learning about one's weakness.

Makes one think of St Therese and her little way. Only it doesn't seem to be so little any more.

The little way of loving and serving Our Lord and thus our families.