Love and commitment

Love and commitment

You know, when you read those How To Keep Your Marriage Alive books, the one thing they tell you to do is communicate.

You know, when you read those How To Keep Your Teenager Close books, the one thing they tell you to do is communicate.

But.. Well... sometimes communication just doesn't cut it.

Sometimes you don't even like each other that much.. At the moment. And the thought of communicating , of working on the relationship, is almost like pulling teeth.

Actually, you would rather have your teeth pulled than work on this together.

And, you know, that's okay.

Because, contrary to the advice in the popular self books, communication is not the most important tool in the relationship box.

Commitment is the most important tool.

Serious commitment.

Seriously.

It's when we make a commitment to a relationship, be it marriage, parenting, that special friend, it's at the moment of commitment that we hold in our hands the most effective tool for the development of the relationship.

For love is commitment. 

We commit to that relationship .. Regardless. There will be problems, there will be times when you annoy or hurt each other, when you feel all is lost, when you want the other to leave or the teen to grow up and away or the friend not to call or text.

In these times, it is your commitment to the relationship that makes a difference. 

Commitment makes a difference to you. Because you don't give up on the relationship. Even when you want to.

And commitment makes a big difference to the other. The spouse, the teen, the friend. That know , deep inside, even when they don't consciously recall it, even when all seems lost, they know that, in spite of hard and horrible times, there will be good times and that you will be there for them . Always.

"The future starts today, not tomorrow." 
— Blessed John Paul II

It does. It starts today with relationships built on commitment.